joycee's

2AM

2010-01-22T23:01:00.002+10:00

OSIF! *oh shite its friday!
summer's ending soon. means, i will be going home!! can't wait, can't wait! but, i am still not done with my assignments and exams. feeling somehow pressured, but i am not putting in my greatest effort to get it done. i know i have to finish it soon, but somehow, i am still procrastinating. excuses, i know. i just seriously, need to get down to work.
lesser time for facebook, lesser time for videos, lesser time for distractions which will equals up to loads of time for revision and finishing my essay. gonna do that. i have to do that. i wun say NO to all these, all i know i will not. but i am making the effort. to lessen the time being spent on it.

and recently, have gone back watching WGM. totally falling in love with the petite couple - Jokwon(2AM) and GaIn(BEG). they kinda resembles the ssangchu couple- funny, but at the same time, are realistics. not much of those over the top romantic stuff, just those normal stuff that would happen in everyday life. talking bout 2AM, i am addicted to their songs. although they do not have the looks, but they are talented and blessed with a great voice. a great ballad group and how come they are so under-rated in korea? but, hopefully with some help from WGM, i hope that their popularity will rise soon!

2am- confession of a friend

어떡하죠

2009-12-13T20:51:00.002+10:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DADDY! (:
can't wait to see all of you next week!!! YAY(: i'm still very bored. zzzz. and i wanna go city tmr. but realised that i dun have enough money to bring me there. so i guess is either i have to walk up to school to withdraw money or take a bus to riverlink and withdraw money and then go to the city. hmmmm.

i am missing You're Beautiful. yeobo, pls go and watch when you're free. you're totally missing out. right jie?! teehee!!

2009-12-12T13:47:00.004+10:00

yes, jie. i am updating now.
cos i am so bored over here. its a saturday and i am too lazy to go all the way to the city even though Stan Walker would be at Queens Street performing live!! the one hour train journey turns me off, totally. haha, its been long since i have posted. i thought of deleting the blog though!
end of semester 2, 2009 and moving into the summer semester. i realised that i kind of like living alone. though its kinda quiet. but i have the huge space on my own! had been slacking my life away too much ever since exams ended. thank god for their convocation, i have been quite occupied this whole week! congratulations to all the graduands (:
1.5 years just passes so quickly and the friends that came here with me during our first semester have graduated already.mixed feelings though, cos it kinda also mean that i can't really see them anymore. but i guess this is life, something ends, and we gotta move on. things will be different next semester, that's for sure and i hope that i will be able to get use to it within the shortest time.
i went to moretan island too. finally! and i got darker. not that i'm complaining though. cos i wanted to be. the only part that i am kinda whiny bout would be being sunBURNT. it was an experience. one that i am so sure that i will just go once and that's it.
my family's coming in another 7 more days!! i can't wait i can't wait! though i miss my friends in singapore too. but i guess i have to be contented of the 2 weeks home during cny in the coming febs!

Just shut the hell up.

2009-09-02T12:55:00.002+10:00

try me one more time.and we shall see..
p/s: its not becos i am feeling there's something to hide,but its just i think you're the last person eligible to talk bout it.

so why not you get a life,drive your car,gamble away your money or whatsoever.
i freaking think its obvious enough.if you still do not know its you,you're freaking dense and that's sad (:
whatever you do,i just wish i have nothing to do with it.so,

just shut the hell up.

Full of Thoughts.

2009-08-17T23:25:00.002+10:00

Every single time when i read Charmaine's blog and realises that she is blogging bout my younger sister about how she disappoints us again and again,i can't help it but drop a few tears or even cry for that few minutes. Honestly, I have no idea what is in that 16 year old mind of hers. Everyone keeps on telling me that she will get past this stage, but when? O levels is lesser then dunno how many mths away and she is always saying that she is studying hard, putting in effort but you and I plus herself knows that she devotes all the time to that fucking guy. It just simply comes to a stage whereby I know that I cant even talk about him with her. It simply just piss me off like hell. So, to that guy-whoever what the hell your name is, just move off. fuck off.

Enough of this shite.
Speaking of enough. I dunno whether this is the drama season or what. All I know is that I do not want to be a part of it. But, sadly, unknowingly, I became a part of it and to tell you, I hate it. Why? cos' we're all friends and this kind of situation put us on a spot. Not me, not you, not her. It affects everyone. and at this point of time, when I want to talk to someone over the phone and stupid Optus is not allowing me to make calls, it makes me realise how much I do really miss the past, like when we were all so near each other, gossiping became part of our everyday life. Given now, even calling you makes me think twice on how you would react to this call, makes me think of how you would answer and whether you will give a shite about what I said..

I guess I have to grow out of this thing. This thing called Reliance.

Listening to: Howl- Love U

When will the sun ever shine again?

2009-08-09T01:28:00.003+10:00

i just realised how much i dislike it.makes me realised how much i've missed out.

but i guess,like what you mentioned before..
one day we would all have to seperate.

blame it on me for relying so much on you & darn it for letting you affect my mood one way or the other.

where would i go and find another that i can relate to?

bogoshipda

2009-08-05T00:06:00.002+10:00

说说- 棒棒堂

下课钟声回荡耳边沉没夕阳倒映我脸
互传纸条的那画面消失般的光綫
秋天气息感染树叶泛黄照片还放桌前
操场上的那些麻雀随枫叶纷飞

我们曾经说好的幸福永远一直藏在书包的拉链
多麽希望回到那年我们写的诗篇

好想听你说说爱我好像听你说说想我
这些年你有没有曾经想起过我
好像对你说说爱你好像对你说说想你
这些年你知不知我常想念着你想念着你

秋天气息感染树叶泛黄照片还放桌前
操场上的那些麻雀随枫叶纷飞

我们曾经说好的幸福永远一直藏在书包的拉链
多麽希望回到那年我们写的诗篇

好想听你说说爱我好想听你说说想我
这些年你有没有曾经想起过我
好想对你说说爱你好想对你说说想你
这些年你知不知脑袋里装的全都是你全都是你

诉说着我的感受心里话全说出口

听你说说多爱我听你说说想我
谢谢你曾经陪着我说着我们幸福的经过

2009-07-18T13:18:00.004+10:00

HomeSweetHome

2009-06-26T02:42:00.002+10:00

going home soon!
in #%&$*% (lazy to count) hours.

whee.having mixed feelings though.cos i am worried bout my results.i am sure that i am gonna fail ECON1010,and i wouldnt know how to tell my parents.TOUR2005 is kinda risky,but i think i'll be able to srcap through..on the other hand i'll be able to see my family and friends!yayness ((:

i pray to have a safe flight home.with no swine flu and blah blah blah.

i'm glad that i'm going home,to keep me away from those thoughts.to save me from falling in..
有时真的要学会放手.

Do Not Doubt

2009-06-25T01:45:00.001+10:00

disappointed.again and again.

why do I feel that tinge of jealousy when I am quite sure of where I am standing?

4 More Days

2009-06-22T22:09:00.002+10:00

I AM SO LOSING FOCUS.
but i need to be focus.cos this paper is so competitive (after i heard some stuff which makes me go a lil zzz)

tmr will be the end of my semester 1 exams.and i wouldnt say it went well.dun really think i would clear this semester too.so yah.i wonder how i should face my parents with the atrocious results that are coming on the 5th of july i think.

1 out of 4 is cleared.
the other 3..

still trying to keep myself healthy by drinking loads of water and thanks to my dear housemate for her vitamin c ((:

I WILL SURVIVE(.?!)
i think i will..

Precaution

2009-06-22T00:34:00.002+10:00

from now till i return back to sg, i need to stay healthy.

i seriously need to.i dun wanna get into the trouble of going all the tests for H1N1.

wednesday.i need to get hand sanitizer and masks.

eat more fruits.but i got no more fruits.
eat more veggie.but i left no more veggie.

shite.

ample rest.yes.ample rest.

friday.wear mask in the airport,on the plane and when i land.and to pray that it would be a safe flight without any drama.

damn,this whole thing is getting on me.i dun really feel like going back home now ):

but before that.i need to get over HOSP1005.
god.pls let me get thru all the modules.

Exams "Blues"

2009-06-03T13:51:00.002+10:00

exams are round the corner and seriously.i haven started studying.i should say that time is running out but i am really really distracted by the things going around me and what is going on the net.zzz.

like OMG.i need to settle down to study.cos with one paper after another on the 16th and 17th,its not like the best of an exam schedule i would have prayed for.but on the lighter note,i am going back on the 26th!

YAY!

ok.shall stop blogging here now.zzz.the so called biatch is here.
fcuk.

JEALOUSY

2009-05-19T23:15:00.004+10:00

i'm in a foul mood.think its partly PMS and i am pissed.or rather,fed up.
i just need to rant,have a good sleep and tmr would be a better day (:

if you think its alrights to forego all the rules and play, BRING IT ON.
i seriously wonder what would have happen today if in the midst of game,i just give up and just shouted at you.'its just a game afterall',i can almost predict this is what the reaction of others would be.so,its just a game.did you have to go to this extent of forcing people out of their boundaries?if thats the case,lets might as well dun play.

&lesson learnt:
being pretty or having that beauty would allow you the access of getting what you want.
a harsh reality,but i gotta face it.

sometimes,i wonder.the thing you have for her,will it affect things the way they are now?cos' it seems to me that whenever she's around,the way you carry yourself is always different.or is that the real you?

on the other note,getting HOSP1005 essay back tmr.its making me nervous and scared.just let me pass.plsplspls.

LOVE LIFE

2009-05-18T14:57:00.000+10:00

2009-04-17T11:52:00.003+10:00

STILL NO INTERNET.

and it sucks when i need to look for the manager,she's not on site.
zzz.

and and.i am kinda tired of walking thru and fro from school already.with my laptop and loads of books on my back.

acer=heavyweight champion.

2009-04-11T12:25:00.001+10:00

NO INTERNET= NO LIFE

damn.at this point of time.i cannot access to the net.
OMG.

2009-03-28T22:33:00.002+10:00

there're lots of reading to be done.
i need to plan my time properly.
i need to clean my room.
i need to do this and i need to do that..

ah,and this stupid feeling of zzzzz is comingggggg back.dammit.it better dun affect me or anyone around me.it just simply sucks.

i feel lucky cos there're others out there making me happy by those sweet little things they're doing,for making the effort to update me on their lives.thank you <3
i feel home-sicked cos i cannot go on skype and i wanna see how my family are now ):
i feel emo-ed cos tyl keeps on coming into my mind nowadays =X

i feel anything but stressed for now.OH GOD.

welcome late nights,goodbye all the slacking days.

let's go&chiong ah!

2009-03-05T11:55:00.001+10:00

Had already made my decision and I’m quite sure about it. In order to save one friendship and to lessen one kind of awkwardness, I think that my decision bout it is right. He said, conversations are made by 2 people and it can’t be me talking always. I agree. But I do not know how to carry on or even start one. i feel guilty and even apologetic about it. Semester not yet gone into full swing there are already drama. One of it would be the drama that just happened at my new accommodation. Mind you, NEW. I thought the security would be the best and things that had happened at cumquat would not happen again. But I was wrong. Decided to do my laundry together with dilys and sandy tonight at the common area and to pass time, we played UNO Stacko. Everything was fine till this drunkard guy appear out of nowhere. Not from the front gate but from the back. Apparently, from what he said, he climbed over the fence. I was alright till he said something to me and that really freaked me out and I started to get frightened and got sandy to get div from my apartment. Div came and everything seemed under control till that guy received a phone call. Din really get what he was talking bout but I heard bits and pieces of it like no luck, yeah, we are on the next street. When div and I hear him said that, we exchanged eye contact and knew that it was time to get up into our apartment. We thought things would be over after we went back to our apartment but we were wrong. He started throwing stones at our apartment windows and for a moment, I thought that we are really zzz. Ah, and we called the police. But they did not come. They told us to wait cos they had to prioritize their phone reports and would send their crew once they are available. Yup, so till now, I dunno where he is, whether he will break into our apartment. I am feeling sleepy now and I pray hard that we’ll all be ok.

I wanna go back to Singapore ):

2009-03-03T15:38:00.001+10:00

decisions to be made, things to be settled.

and my accomodation still has not internet connection which is literally killing me, i would say.

and ly.i cannot log into chachabobo.WHYYYYY???!~~~~~~

2009-01-04T02:29:00.001+10:00

这就是爱- 王心凌

飘流在爱情海域
你我也曾有过伤心
因为相信让俩颗心贴近了距离
当我靠在你的怀里
所有话题都是多余
眼前的风景都是你给我的美丽
月影遥天都亮了星星睡不着
我在你耳边轻轻唱着你笑了
爱俩颗星星一片海
牵着的手都明白再也离不开
爱轻轻飘进我心海
你是甜蜜的意外我却逃不开oh~~

当我靠在你的怀里
所有话题都是多余
眼前的风景都是你给我的美丽
月影遥天都亮了星星睡不着
我在你耳边轻轻唱着你笑了
爱俩颗星星一片海
牵着的手都明白再也离不开
爱轻轻飘进我心海
你是甜蜜的意外我却逃不开oh~~

开始不懂爱到现在才明白
恋爱中的人都像个小孩
情愿被宠坏每一天都充满期待
这就是爱
爱俩颗星星一片海
牵着的手都明白再也离不开
爱轻轻飘进我心海
你是甜蜜的意外我却逃不开oh~~

2009-01-02T20:17:00.006+10:00

HAPPY 2009! (:

went to marina bay for countdown with ly and cheehong.the fireworks mesmerized the three of us!ly had the biggest reaction!HAHAHAH.

2008-12-30T23:51:00.001+10:00

goodbye 2008.

an eventful year i would say.i spent 15 mintues thinking of a right word to describe my year and it seems so difficult!i wouldnt say its sad cos i had fun at some point of the year.i wouldnt say it was depressing cos i am much luckier den some other people out there.i wouldnt say its smooth sailing cos i encountered some shites during the last semester in poly and in ipswich.

2008 is a year i think i would never forget that easily becos its the year whereby i graduated from ngee ann,attaining my EI cert,my friends giving me a surprise at the 0000hrs on my birthday,me making the decision to go to ipswich for my events management degree,my class guys going into ns,me being slam with personal problems when i was in ipswich,the amount of tears i shed,me making decisions on my own,incidents that makes me look at another better,meeting new people from parts of the world,etc... there's so much to list.but i guess these are all the so called highlights from what i can remember.

although,some things never change..

2008.
i realised how much i've grown.
from size(haha) till my mindset;
from black till colours;
from running away till facing the reality..

whatever that happened this year would be a lesson,a lesson to be learnt,would be an experience,an experience of a lifetime,would be a reminder,a reminder of not making the same mistakes again.

oh,and how could i forget to mention how i came by this eventful year of mine?thanks to these peepos!

thank you to my family.if they are not there for me,i dun think i will be able to pull through.
thank you cousin simin.for listening to me and giving me advice when i had those freaking shitty problems over at ipswich.
thank you LY.for being there to crap with me,i think i would have bore myself to death over at the OH-SO-NOBODY population in that suburb i am in, for being there when i really needed someone to talk to(thanks the LUCKY DRAGON card too! HAHA!),for listening me crying over shitty stuffs and of course, bitching bout other people's life too la huh!
thank you jie.for asking me how i am,even though we din really talked much cos you were working =X
thank you akwilan,shane,div for being such positive people!
thank you peiwen.for making me see things i dun even realised and letting me understand what are our priorities.

there are still so much to be thankful for..
thank god for everything.

come 2009.
it will be a brand new year.with more challenges ahead.
and my new year resolution?

is to smile more (:

2008-12-28T02:48:00.002+10:00

HAPPY 20th, DEH!~
HAPPY 21st, GAB!

celebrated ly's birthday at wildwildwet this year.something out of the norm.hee.but the important part was that we had fun at wildwildwet!! (i supposed?though we were all exhausted.)(:
i got a lil burnt too.hahah.
to ly: hope you had fun la huh!and my apologies for this year's birthday plan.i think i left my enthusiastic soul of planning gatherings in the land called aussie.oh,and hope that you would love the present to bits!you're 20.its time to get something practical you know.hehe!~and i really do wish that you will be able to find someone to fall head over heels with and vice versa (((:

went down to gab's place for his 21st.had steamboat,slack around,camwhore a lil,sang and cut his birthday cake.din really managed to catch up with my poly mates though.and i realised something,even after 5 months of not seeing each other and going into ns,the mindset of my guy classmates are still the same.zzz.what and what.

to conclude the day,i am tired due to the much fun and laughter with the ladies!and getting a lil emo.i know that i am over it,i really am and that he is not worth it.but how come his actions,his words,his face affects me so much.even after such a long time,a long distance?zzzzzzzz.

i need to get out of this grey cloud,this past of mine.

2008-12-21T01:50:00.001+10:00

shall blog when the feel is here.

getting all restless again.dammit.

2008-12-11T22:47:00.002+10:00

i'm having flu,again.
and i think its quite bad this time?with all the unstoppable dripping nose and blocked nose and er,weird voice coming out when i talk.

zzz.

i seriously need to get down to exercising and to have a healthy diet drawn out for me.after yesterday's swensens with my cousins,i feel so sick of chips,or rather,fries.heh.
but,i wun mind trying the mega mcspicy.heee.i bet ly is like mumbling to herself that i am not thinking straight.haha.

and i realised,i am back for 2 weeks already..i seriously need to meet up with these peeps!
HUANS,SIPEI,MEIY,SHIN,SHER,WANLI,MEICHIN,DEBBIE,3F03!!!!
ly,lums,yas! more dates!!!

off to genting on sunday to celebrate my daddy's birthday! ((:

till then..

2008-12-11T02:45:00.002+10:00

i am going crazy already.

in no mood to talk,in no right mind to discuss.
all in all,it amounts up to all the heartbreaking reality that i am not able to help much in this oh-so complicated situation.

so,tell me.what makes a perfect eldest sister?
i wanna take off some burden from my parents,to be a listening ear for my siblings,but everything seem so wrong right now.not only i am adding on stress or burden to my parents,i realised that i am not a sister that my siblings might be able to trust.just as much as i am typing this,tears are like welling up and i fighting it back to cry,to be weak,to be so tad helpless..

i think i am losing it.seriously losing it..

but i am thankful for my cousins,ly and shane for being here.for listening,for giving advices,for being concern,for everything...

where's my happy holidays?

2008-12-06T00:30:00.007+10:00

whats a merry merry christmas?

feeling troubled now.having some problems with my youngest sis.she is closing herself out to us and we are not able to do anything.and yes,she is in a relationship.one that i do not really agree with.for one,that guy is 24 this year.and she is only, not even 16. her life basically revolves around him.and i wonder what does this guy have in him to make her fall head over heels with him.i worries me because apparently what this guy does affects her emotionally.like entirely.i have no more ideas what i should do about this situation anymore.i talked to her,tried to compromise,but its not working.it takes 2 hands to clap,to make the situation better.but she is betraying the trust that i give her.she thinks that the world is in her hands and it seems to me that she is taking all these for granted.

god,help her.pls.

2008-12-04T23:31:00.003+10:00

快点闪一边
我们在庆功宴
谁叫你还搞不清楚
我跟你的差别
Yeah 我是 Superman
Yeah 我是 Superman
Yeah 我是 Superman
Yeah 你是 Loser

abstracted from 倪子岡 - Superman (theme from HOT SHOT)
catchy song! i LIKE~

I STILL NEED A PART TIME JOB!!!

and just as thought my day was gonna end just like that,YOU surprised me (((:

2008-12-01T22:54:00.008+10:00

back in sg.

and celebrated yasmin's 21st!

might not blog often.or maybe for now.

cos,i am feeling a little irritated from the earache and lil jetlag.

2008-11-28T09:36:00.000+10:00

(:

you're my sunshine.

2008-11-26T22:27:00.002+10:00

not in a good mood i shall say.full of disappointment in myself.and all i ask is a chance to pass it.and all i can say is that i know i have disappoint my parents.even though all they tell me is not to think so much bout it and work harder.

i realised,too that i do miss him.the prescence,the voice,the everything.
and this means that i am in deeeeeeeep shite.

all i ask for is a little consolation.

2008-11-25T09:41:00.000+10:00

woke up this morning and had a feeling of being neglected.

ONE BIG SIGH.

2008-11-24T16:14:00.003+10:00

EDITED@10:14pm:
still having gastric.zzz.just gotten back from a movie with dilys and the rest.and i realised that i really do miss the humsuppers ): so much for putting up a brave front of treating as though everything is alright,for being cool.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
FROM TMR ONWARDS WILL BE.

PACK,
PACK,
and more

PACKING!

results will be out in another two days.i am freaking out.
and my new accomodation is still not settled.i seriously pray that it will give us an answer by wednesday and i can shift the stuffs there by friday.

plsplspls.

2008-11-23T09:56:00.006+10:00

EDITED@10:17pm
i'm having gastric pain now.zzz.
and i'm also addicted to this song.emo.

无条件为你 by 梁静茹

爱你等于拥有一片天空
任何风吹草动都有你存在其中
自然而然的轻松

一路到夏天的尾声
无所谓到过于激动
我们有笑容我们曾心动
不再是无动于衷

无条件为你不顾明天的安稳
为你变坚强相信你的眼神
不敢想不敢问
有一天坏的可能
无条件为你放弃单独的旅程
为你坚强就不怕牺牲
我的灵魂如此沸腾
为我爱的人

喜欢复杂还是习惯单纯
我愿尽力完成你在我心中几分
难以形容的责任

爱一个人付出才会完整
无条件越爱就越深
永远不分啊
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
enrolled for my next whole year courses already.hopefully i will not get killed under my own choices.and i realised.other than accounting,there are still mathematics-based or numerical-based courses to be done!a lil afraid of it,but i know i cant get away with it.results will be released on thursday and i am freaking out a little already.

my inner ear still hurts and what i am hearing now is muffled.i hope that i will be better till i get home and see my family doctor.the wrist that i injured during netball hurts now too.i can't seem to carry heavy stuff and bend it backwards.a total zzz.

and i am getting a lil emo ): cos, there's no one to talk to 'cept for the walls.
wonder by the end of the week,what will happen to me.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

i miss literally EVERYONE now.

2008-11-22T10:51:00.001+10:00

another friend of mine went back home already.
i'm seriously all alone now.like ONE.INDIVIDUAL.MYSELF.

okay.i miss all of them like right now.zzz.

2008-11-18T06:24:00.000+10:00

HEY HO HEY HEY HO!

OFF TO GOLD COAST!
hee.but its raining ):
so anti-climax.

2008-11-17T02:57:00.009+10:00

that absolute silence that amounts up to the endless misses.

EXAMS ARE LIKE FINALLY OVER.

now the anticipation of the release of results.OMG.

brisbane city tmr, gold coast on tuesday&wednesday. (:

and i really need to start packing already and of course,settle my accomodation for next semester asap.as well as where to keep my stuff over the holidays..

disappointment.

2008-11-15T08:41:00.003+10:00

i got like fucking scolded by that racist landlord again.like twice in two consecutive days.zzz.and this time,there were witness too.plus.i seriously did not even do anything.not even say.

okay.mabbe i did something.like stood with the humsuppers and said bye to div before he left?and she just had to come and say,"this is what i say about manners.atrocious."

and i just retaliated by,"why atrocious again?!"
but whatever,i am so not gonna communicate with her unless its really necessary.zzz.
and yeah,i am too lazy to go and screw her.but if she says that atrocious thing again,i am gonna go into full sarcasm mode.

try me,you biatch.

on the other hand,
EVNT2002 in another 5 hours...

i seriously po bi that i am able to pull through this paper.came down with this coughing fit and headache.i realised that whatever i have studied,i can't remember.

of course,i can't wait for it to end.when it ends,it means freedom.heh heh.
okay.not entirely,cos the reuslts are not out yet.but it means,i'm going home soon (:
and lotsa packing to be done.

i miss SG.like now.
i miss my family,my friends,my cousins!

i miss mac's brekkys;my hotcakes!
i miss tcc;my mighty joe young!
i miss chicken rice;
i miss thai food;my pineapple rice set and tom yum soup!
i miss swensens;my coit tower!

pink & bling party tonight at unilink.

2008-11-12T17:54:00.003+10:00

word for the day:

ATROCIOUS.

racist quote for the day:

YOU ATROCIOUS CHINESE.

imagine.staying at an accomodation with racist lady landlord.
when i am back,i am so gonna tell IDP not to recommend CUMQUAT STUDENT ACCOMODATION to the poor singaporeans that are coming over here to study.
take that biatch.you made me to.
thank goodness i am going.
(:

2008-11-11T17:11:00.003+10:00

HAPPY 21st, XINNI! (:
looking at your celebration photos, make me wanna be 21 too!
I LOVE THE BALLOONS!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
byebye,
MGTS1301.

a total screwup.
):
i know i was able to score.i spotted all the right questions!but.i din make the effort.slacked way too much.hopefully i will pass.

here i come,
EVNT2002.

2008-11-09T00:38:00.002+10:00

HAPPY 21st, YASMIN! <3
be happy.and of course,let your prince charming come real soon.
miss you too! (:

2008-11-08T06:25:00.006+10:00

TOUR2004 in another 5 hours.

i dun know whether i should feel confident or not because i realised,i din put much effort in it.like what ly said,your exam on general knowledge ah.got a strong feeling i will not do well in this.but its no one's fault but my own.

anyway,anyway.one of my housemate is going back to melbourne already.he finished his exams like on the 3rd!when mine haven even started.zzz.but i prefer it to be this way for now cos it wouldnt be fun to finish first and to enjoy alone??

2008-11-07T10:29:00.002+10:00

TOUR2004 COMING UP..
i want to be culturally inclined!

ACCT1101 DOWN.
byebye cash flows,FIFO,LIFO,financial levarage..

2008-11-06T10:08:00.001+10:00

ACCT1101 IN ONE HOUR TIME.

oml.

2008-11-01T01:00:00.010+10:00

HAPPY 20th, LUMS! ((:

its kinda sad that i'm not able to be there this year to celebrate your birthday.you should know how much i wanted to.ahhh.hope i din miss out on alot!):

anyway,i know you guys miss me as much as i do.hehheh.but it was great to be able to listen to your voice,as well as geline's.

*remember your promise ah,geline.hahahaha.that big welcome group to be waiting for me in T3.LOL.with garlands,signboards.heh!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

gotta chiong whatever i need to later on at building 12.i NEED to finish what i wanted to accomplish yest night.what happened last night?we watched russell peters again,had a er,3hours long dinner with loads of talking bout first impressions,frequent bursts of laughter.however,i dun regret letting the night go cos it was spending quality time with my group of friends aka housemates. (: like what you guys say,its the company that matters.

i hope and pray that things will be like that for all of us.for now,for the future.

no one can ever understand how i feel.the insecurity of not knowing what would ever happen next and being afraid of losing everything all over.

and i am thankful that everything is slowly turning alright,with me learning on the every step that i am taking.

off to bed for now!

dear baby.

2008-10-31T17:34:00.004+10:00

这游戏充满无限的杀伤力,完美的比例维系关于温柔的继续.

ACCOUNTING REVISION: DAY 2.

2008-10-30T12:38:00.004+10:00

一样自己走在回家的路,
却突然发现自己有些孤独.
天空下有几颗脆弱的心,
找寻着那双共鸣的眼睛.
我怀疑,一直在等待的人
真的就是你..
直到看着星星想到你,
望着太阳想到你,
少了你会莫名的空虚.
我才终于开始去相信,
是谁出现在梦裡,
而你就是唯一的唯一..
-----------------------------------------------------------------
START OF ACCOUNTING REVISION: DAY ONE.

thoughtless

2008-10-30T02:13:00.001+10:00

when many thoughts add up,just swallow it and allow it to digest.

i learnt my lesson.
i need some happy pills!that can make me smile like this (:

pimple outbreak!

2008-10-28T15:23:00.003+10:00

EDITED

感恩。
感谢今天的一切。
有那么丰富的一餐,那么美好的天气，
还有不能忘了感谢您能让我和朋友之间的友情慢慢变得更好了。(:
----------------------------------------------------------------
):
my face.is infested with pimples.
RAHHHH.

okay.back to studying.
jia you jia you jia you!

somewhere,somehow,someday.

sha la la

2008-10-27T23:36:00.006+10:00

Happy Birthday, Peiwen!

hope you had loads of fun with all of us.haha.and the unforgettable truth or dare. (:

thank you too.for talking sense into me.for being so 坦白with me.it made me see things clearer through others perspective.

----------------------------------------------------------

things seems to be better now.and i did not even realise that how my sensitivity towards things could make things worst and even make people distance themselves away from me.but really,after that talk.i feel better and of course,apologetic towards them for my actions.i will try to control my emotions.and i proud to say that i am learning.so,please dun lose faith in me as your friend,because i know,we do cherish this friendship of ours.(:

just as things are getting better,i seriously pray hard that nothing will affect me for now.and let everything go smoothly.no more tears,no more emotions.

i know, 感恩.

i am really thankful that my prayers were answered.and i will change for the better.

----------------------------------------------------------

full swing mode for exams?

not really.

2008-10-26T12:13:00.005+10:00

i took the first step to try to make things right.and right now,i can do nothing but to wait.

i want everything to be alright.but it seems,its not getting any better,but getting aloads worst.
imagine from one to zero,from zero to nothing at all.

i want to be brave enough and hit it straight to the point but not beat around the bushes.it would be great if they are reading this and know who i am talking bout.

i cannot take it anymore.

if it makes you happy seeing me in this state,i got nothing much to say anymore.you should know how it feels.it happened to you before too.it made you troubled for a period of time didn't it?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
i dun see the need to be so sneaky.i know there is a better choice out there,tell me straight that you are interested too.or i should say,i know you were interested all along.dun talk to me about deals and plans anymore because the higher i hold my hopes,the greater i am going to fall.
so,just go,do whatever that deems fit.and leave me alone.

&trust me,i know.

fallen in and gotten out in time.and it hurts.
pls god,let things be better.or at least let me know what really happened.

something different

2008-10-25T12:18:00.006+10:00

people say, whenever you go overseas to study,must experience new things.and i think.i experienced much of it already.i sprained my hand,met some dodgy people and now,gotten into the emergency department in Brisbane because of my asthma.

and nope,dun come worrying first.cos i am fine now.(:

i'm fine in a way,not really that fine in another. ):

you tell me,what's wrong between all of us.

mentally tired; emotionally depressed

2008-10-23T21:45:00.003+10:00

i thought if the whole world turn onto me, i would have a friend like you to lean on.

apparently, i was wrong bout it.

and.my chest feels so constricted now.
a hug and a 'everything will be okay' would be good at this point of time.

i miss him.

2008-10-22T15:02:00.001+10:00

two major shites in two consecutive weeks.

all alone.

Way back into Love

2008-10-20T12:54:00.002+10:00

I've been living with a shadow overhead,
I've been sleeping with a cloud above my bed,
I've been lonely for so long,
Trapped in the past,
I just can't seem to move on!

I've been hiding all my hopes and dreams away,
Just in case I ever need them again someday,
I've been setting aside time,
To clear a little space in the corners of my mind..

All I want to do is find a way back into love.
I can't make it through without a way back into love.
Oooooh.

I've been watching but the stars refuse to shine,
I've been searching but i just don't see the signs,
I know that it's out there,
There's got to be something for my soul somewhere..

I've been looking for someone to shed some light,
Not somebody just to get me through the night,
I could use some direction,
And I'm open to your suggestions.

All I want to do is find a way back into love.
I can't make it through without a way back into love.
And if I open my heart again,
I guess I'm hoping you'll be there for me in the end..

There are moments when I don't know if it's real
Or if anybody feels the way I feel
I need inspiration
Not just another negotiation

All I want to do is find a way back into love,
I can't make it through without a way back into love,
And if I open my heart to you,
I'm hoping you'll show me what to do,
And if you help me to start again,
You know that I'll be there for you in the end..
------------------------------------------------------------------
this song is superbly nicee.
a track from the movie, Music and Lyrics.
i know, charmaine is so gonna say i am so LAG.cos when i was back in sg, she was the one that was crazy about this song and bug me to ask my friend to dl it for her.so now,here i am,repeating this song over and over again.heh.

i am suppose to do some studying within these 2 hours break but i have already wasted one hour of it.tsk.but nvm,i tell myself to work hard for these 4 days and enjoy on friday and saturday.den back to study mode on sunday.

there are so many things i need to settle before the examinations draws in!
so many things, so little time.

and i know,that you dun wanna be involved.even though you're listening half heartedly, i find myself talking to no one but myself.
so,i guess its true.actions speakes louder than words.

fall in love.

thank you.

2008-10-20T00:05:00.005+10:00

thank you cousin simin, ly, sandy, div, shane, peiwen, dilys.

for being here;
for listening;
for tolerating;
for advising;
for the late nights;
for trying to cheer me up.

i appreciate it.alot. (:

emo nemo part II

2008-10-15T15:57:00.002+10:00

so as it seems that what dinyar said is true,"you're in no one's clique what!'
yeah.i know.

start of this long emo period till the end of the semester.can't wait to get home and close out to ipswich and everything here.
wonder how it would be to take the plane home alone.

damn.damn.damn.

emo nemo.

2008-10-14T23:34:00.002+10:00

i tell myself it's not how long the time is spent but the quality of the time spent.it's the company that matters.

i will not know what will happen in the future.so,i tell myself why not enjoy the present?as much as i know there are so much bitching going on,i need to be pretentious to my surroundings.its a matter of tolerance isn't it?or,issit just retribution.i think,serves me right.

feeling kinda emotional now and jay chou is not helping much anymore. ):

fallen.

i ♥ snickers!

2008-10-12T14:58:00.003+10:00

another gloomy day.
makes everything seems so emo and sad..

just had lunch with sandy and ya,obviously she did the cooking.cos i dun really know how to cook!thankful to have a friend and housemate like her too!hees.and.and!i am munching on snickers now!omg.i realised i gave up on my kinder bueno becos its too expensive here.heh.
*hint to LY: get me loads of kinder bueno when i am back hor! heh heh.

having some problems with the accounts assignment.there are too many questions going through my head.i need some answers.i am afraid it would be too late cos the deadline is on tuesday. ):

might update a lil later.the internet is getting cranked up.shite.

truth or dare?

2008-10-12T01:10:00.004+10:00

started accounts assignment this morning and ended not long ago.and.its still not done.it does not seems to be as easy as it seems.

kinda tired.must be due to yesterday's late night sleep and the loads of things that was on my mind.but.things are well now,or i suppose. (:

went to fatseas with akwilan,div and shane to get their dinner this evening.it was raining,and its the first time ever since i came here to walk in the rain.on the way when we were making our way back,div asked this random question of would we still stay in touch even after we graduate.dunno what's gotten into him to be so emo all of the sudden,asking questions as though we are leaving tml or something.and something that surprised me was that i dun even know how we ended up playing truth or dare at the dinner table.i like this kind of time,spending quality time with friends and trying to pry into each other life more.heh.

i think,i would miss these times once this semester is over.
cos,everyone would be moving out.
and i know everything would never be the same again..

*sidenote: my dad is better le! yays! (: (:

Pathetic.

2008-10-11T00:08:00.002+10:00

be who you are, and say what you feel, because the people who mind don't matter and the people who matter, don't mind.

whenever i go to riverlink,i would visit gloria jeans for my reg caramelatte.it never fails me to have a look at their board with meaningful quotes that touches me one way or another.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
a very slack day for me i should say.did grocery shopping with dilys this afternoon and caught a not-so-enjoyable movie with a couple of my housemates.walking to the cinema made me notice and realise some stuff.it seems like i can never have the right amount of fun everytime my heart is set out to enjoy; and i would not fit into the picture somehow.
the higher the expectation,the greater the disappointment.isnt it?

feeling a little emotional&upset now.cos of something i know i shouldnt even get affected by.
sometimes i wonder am i being the way i should be?being sensitive about things and getting all-so-agitated bout some nonsensical stuff.something i couldnt really understand myself would be making of joke out of one of my housemates and not being able to take it lightly when its played back at me.however,i am really thankful to them and those around me for being so understandable. (:
but i think for this time,we went too far didnt we?where is the trust i thought we had?
我要的安慰去了那里？

and i think,i am falling for it unknowingly.
its the last thing on my mind for now..

2008-10-08T23:35:00.003+10:00

i'm worried sick.
cos my mom says that my dad is in the hospital.cos he is not feeling that well.vomit and feeling dizzy.

my sis says he is being hospitalised; my mom says he is going home now.

i dun even know which is which.what is what.

god.pls let him recover soon.
and.
pls let my family,my friends and everyone around me to be healthy,safe and sound.

女儿红 - 周杰伦

2008-10-08T13:36:00.004+10:00

雨停下的天空. 灰的更加老旧.
你说你不懂为何在这时牵手.
我晒干了承诺. 灰的更加懵懂.
就算做事做错也只是怕错过
在一起走. 分开了走.
是不是说没有做完的梦最痛.
你若退后. 我能承受.
在最后的出口. 在爱过哪儿才有.
能不能给我一首歌的时间.
紧紧的把那拥抱变成永远.
在我的怀里. 不用太多失眠.
如果你想忘记我也能适应.
能不能给我一首歌的时间.
把故事听到最后才说再见.
你送我的眼泪. 让他留在雨天.
如果你怀疑一心的依然勇气当作鄙夷...
被淋湿的天空. 灰的更加老旧.
你说你不懂我为何在这时牵手
我晒干了承诺. 灰的狠冲动
就算做事做错也只是怕错过
在一起走. 分开了走.
是不是说没有做完的梦最痛.
你若退后. 我能承受.
在最后的出口. 在爱过哪儿才有.
能不能给我一首歌的时间.
紧紧的把那拥抱变成永远.
在我的怀里. 不用太多失眠.
如果你想忘记我也能适应.
能不能给我一首歌的时间.
把歌词听到最后再说再见.
你送我的眼泪. 让他留在雨天.
如果你怀疑一心的依然勇气当作鄙夷...
你说我不该不该不该在这时候说了我爱你.
要怎麽证明我没有说谎的力气.请告诉我.
而暂停算不算放弃.
我只有那一天的回忆...
能不能给我一首歌的时间.
紧紧的把那拥抱变成永远.
在我的怀里. 不用太多失眠.
如果你想忘记我也能适应.
能不能给我一首歌的时间.
哦.把歌词听到最后再说再见.
你送我的眼泪. 让他留在雨天.
哦.如果你怀疑一心的依然勇气当作鄙夷...

rap部分
你说过我不该.
在这时说爱你. 要怎麽证明我没有力气.
可是暂停却算不算放弃.
我说我不该不该. 不该在这时才说爱你.
要怎麽证明我没有力气.
我只有一天回忆

love-hate affair

2008-10-07T17:05:00.002+10:00

damn you.damn you.damn you.damn you.damn you.damn you.damn you.damn you.damn you.damn you.damn you.damn you.damn you.damn you.damn you.damn you.damn you.damn you.damn you.damn you.damn you.damn you.damn you.damn you.damn you.damn you.damn you.damn you.damn you.damn you.damn you.damn you.damn you.damn you.damn you.damn you.damn you.damn you.damn you.damn you.damn you.damn you.damn you.damn you.damn you.damn you.damn you.damn you.damn you.damn you.damn you.damn you.damn you.damn you.damn you.damn you.damn you.damn you.damn you.damn you.damn you.damn you.damn you.damn you.damn you.damn you.damn you.damn you.damn you.damn you.damn you.damn you.damn you.damn you.damn you.damn you.damn you.damn you.damn you.damn you.damn you.

rants.but i am still not feeling okay.

i dun care what you think,but i do care what you say about me.so what if the whole world believes on what you said?
i trust that in one of the many,there will be a true friend for me.

i seriously,regret paying that amount of money that is gonna tie me down for a year.

2008-10-05T00:03:00.004+10:00

back from sydney!
shall keep it all with me.not wanting to elaborate these mixed feelings.

i realised.how much i do not fit into this picture.
i realised.that i am regretting it.
i realised.that i have no more choice.

i realise,i might have been all alone,all along.
---------------------------------------------------------------------
final exams schedule
6thNov- ACCT1101
8thNov- TOUR2004
11thNov- MGTS1301
15thNov- EVNT2002

dunno whether this is a good arrangement.or not.

2008-09-28T12:56:00.005+10:00

will be off to sydney tomorrow!

till den..

in the mood for love?

2008-09-25T22:22:00.003+10:00

somethings are better to be left unsaid?and i realise,i am trying to get away from one and to the other.
talk bout thinking too much..

hmmm.assignments for this term is officially over.but.it ended on a unhappy note for me.tell me,who would want to collaborate with me for projects anymore?

my apologies.i know its not okay.when you say its really okay.
am i being sensitive den?

i hope that i would not regret bout my decisions.

full of guilt

2008-09-25T01:16:00.007+10:00

ok.this is what happens when all of us are bored and needs a break from everything.

we go crazy.hahas.

one presentation down,left with my grant application.

this grant application made me tear,cos i am filled with so much guilt.i am thankful that i have such understanding groupmates,but i think they spoil me too much and they are working way too hard and all i get from them is to ask me to rest.

sorry and thanks guys.it meant alot to me. (:

thank you,sandy for hearing me out tonight.

thanks cheesy for asking me to stop wallowing in self pitiness and to rest early.

something left me wondering though...

i wonder,why wasn't you but the other?

on the other note.i called char today!cos i know that she would be at work.heh heh heh.jay chou new album is out for preorder already.and so i went crazy,asking her to preorder it today,which she did!at first she was not that willing though,saying that she got no money.so.i called my mom to transfer money to her so that she could preorder it for me.hehehehehe.

how efficient i am.

魔杰座!

i'll be waiting.

spare-tyre.

2008-09-23T21:28:00.004+10:00

feeling lousy now.
with 2 assignments due in 2 consecutive days.but i know,it would be over soon enough.

but its not the assignments making me feeling like this.
cos.i.am.feeling.left.out.again.
all becos of the closeness i feel from you guys,the conversation,the dinners,everything.
making me feel a lil regretful of my choices now..

p/s/s*
To her:
zzz.and why say you would help when you wouldn't?
thank you so much.
its meant to be sarcastic.zzz.
TAKE THAT.

下雨天-南拳妈妈

2008-09-17T11:27:00.000+10:00

下雨天了怎么办我好想你
不敢打给你我找不到原因
什么失眠的声音
变得好熟悉
沉默的场景做你的代替
陪我听雨滴

期待让人越来越沉迷
谁和我一样
等不到他的谁
爱上你我总在学会
寂寞的滋味
一个人撑伞一个人擦泪
一个人好累

怎样的雨怎样的夜
怎样的我能让你更想念
雨要多大
天要多黑才能够有你的体贴

其实没有我你分不清那些
彻别接近还能多一些
别说你会难过
别说你想改变
被爱的人不用道歉

期待让人越来越疲惫
谁和我一样
等不到他的谁
爱上你我总在学会
寂寞的滋味
一个人撑伞一个人擦泪
一个人好累

怎样的雨怎样的夜
怎样的我能让你更想念
雨要多大
天要多黑才能够有你的体贴

其实没有我你分不清那些
彻别接近还能多一些
别说你会难过
别说你想改变
被爱的人不用道歉

怎样的雨怎样的夜
怎样的我能让你更想念
雨要多大
天要多黑才能够有你的体贴

其实没有我你分不清那些
彻别接近还能多一些
别说你会难过
别说你想改变
被爱的人不用道歉

full swing.

2008-09-16T10:10:00.002+10:00

ITS SHOWTIME.

these 2 weeks will be my last chiong for my assignments before mid term break!
one more presentation, one more essay and one grant application to go!
the crazy thing is..the deadlines are all together.omg.

going into full swing mode now.
i know i can do it.

seeing you makes me think of things.but i tell myself,dun stray.

李玖哲 - 死结

2008-09-14T11:14:00.004+10:00

离不开的却离开
抓不住想抓的爱
怪自己活该

我的未来你不来
我的故事很无奈
我注定失败

我们的对话你悄悄离了线
我们的热线今后断了线
你在山的那边那么遥远
你说再见宣判了终点

你在我心里打了死结
绑住孤单在我的世界
你带走的快乐我没了知觉
一个人面对每个日夜

你在我心里打了死结
绑住孤单在我的世界
找不到你的我已失去一切
我们的爱已无法脱险
你打了死结

无心伤害却伤害
空白以后才明白
原来这是爱

你的心我最能猜
你的爱我被淘汰
我注定悲哀

我们的对话你悄悄离了线
我们的热线今后断了线
你在山的那边那么遥远
你说再见宣判了终点

你在我心里打了死结
绑住孤单在我的世界
你带走的快乐我没了知觉
一个人面对每个日夜

你在我心里打了死结
绑住孤单在我的世界
找不到你的我已失去一切
我们的爱已无法脱险
你打了死结

你打了死结..

thankful.

2008-09-13T15:31:00.013+10:00

thanks evelyn for the herbal soup! (: (:

it was yummy.hehe.

hmmm.things over here are still hanging in suspense.seriously.i pray that this group of teenagers woould just disappear into thin air and never come back.i am not taking it right anymore.on the verge of going crazy.

something happened yesterday night again.sam and louis called me to check out from my windows cos they said jc heard some voices outside and a guy in red shirt.i freaked out.and asked some of my housemates to follow me to my room as i check out.its stupid.i know.but i dun care anymore.i've become such a coward after this incident.cant sleep properly,being so paranoid.but.the climax was not bout me being cowardly.it was one of my housemate,whom i shall not name,was trying to act heroic by saying,''let me go out and check around.''i was stunned,shocked and when i was able to talk,i said to her,''dun open the door.''.like HELLO?no brains huh?we dun wanna let them know that we know they are here,but here you are,trying to act hero,to spoil the plan?i was freakingly PISSED.yes,PISSED.i wanted to SHOUT her head off.zzz.but,thank goodness,no one was there.

cheesy called me.cos her msn died on her.and she called for gossip,apparently it came from my msn nick.HAHA.and it was the first time talking to someone on the phone for 34minutes(according to what she said), over here.i miss the hours of talking on the phone back home.

gee and xinwei's off to serve the nation le!how fast can time pass.

uncertainty.

2008-09-10T23:12:00.003+10:00

some shite happened yesterday and i am still shaken with fear.first time in my life i am so afraid,its so unlike me.

i saw these 2 teenage boys loitering outside my accomodation when i was bout to close my window in the evening.i dunno why,i just squat down when i saw them,with my heart beating so fast.i did not bother so much bout it and continued with my stuff as per normal.during dinner i told my housemates bout it and remind them to lock their doors and windows as precaution.just after i said,we hear our doorbell ring.and after that our landlord came out and told us that something just happened at the other house.2 guys showed up outside jc's room with their face masked up and knives on their hand.i was a lil freaked at that time and i told her that i saw them in the evening outside our house.apparently,they were already here since afternoon..

police came and go after taking our statements and at this point of time, we were already freaking out.to me,i was already shivering with fear.

like an hour later,i heard jc and louis shouting.i rushed to the window to see what was happening and i saw miles and jc chasing someone.as they were talking outside the house,i could hear what they were talking and overheard that the 2 guys were standing outside their house watching them.police came back again.took their statements again.and left..

our owner just went back to their room and continue with their sleep,which was a total zzz,leaving all of us shaking with fear,with the amount of uncertainty of what is gonna happen next..

i told ly i wanted to be back in singapore at this moment.
i am seriously freaking out.i cant even do anything properly at this time.even at the slightest sound,it would make me jump.and the feeling sucks when i know they are still out there and i cant do anything.

and.the most exaggerated thing is,i am sleeping with a fork and penknife at my bedside.

god,pls dun let anymore things happen to the bunch of us. ):

tough.

2008-09-09T16:00:00.003+10:00

had my mid term exam for acct1101 already and my tutor says there are failures.i am not hoping much though.

so 2 more assignments and 1 more presentation before the hello, to sydney! (:
i need to get away from here,due to some reasons..

hmmm.some stuff are happening again.and its not resloved in the first place.so what?when you dun fancy the other?i am so sure that i am not that her.so,stop classifying me under that oh-so-irritating category.i realised that i can trust no one but myself already.i thought i found one whom i can rant to,but i guess its not.what goes around,comes around all over.whats more is that..the things that goes around can be so easily misunderstood.but.its no one's fault but mine own.i deserved it.

so much i wanna say.but its all in my head..
*ly,lums:will tell you on skype another time.

decided to move out from my current accomodation and moved to another.thank god my dad could empathise with me.(:

choices.

2008-09-04T22:30:00.005+10:00

accounting mid year is on saturday and i have not even started studying yet.dun ask me why,cos i am asking myself that question too.so yeah.
sports at UQ on saturday evening.hope i am able to get everything out from my system.praying hard for a fine weather too.
watching movie in a cinema on sunday,following by a movie from a dvd at louis's place.nothings confirmed yet though.
after sunday would be monday.thats when the real battle starts.
when the battle ends..

sydney,here i come!

having quite alot of stuff inside my head recently and i really feel like going back to sg at this moment.no one back home understands how much i dun wanna continue staying at this accomodation.i am so unhappy bout it now.i just wanna move.but i do not know where i should move too.so much uncertainties too.i guess i should be independent.not to rely on anyone..

not looking forward to anything,anymore.

unhappiness.

2008-09-03T23:34:00.000+10:00

i am feeling so unhappy now...

tears,tears and more tears.

thoughts.

2008-09-02T09:47:00.007+10:00

one individual assignment down!this first assignment i have is so trecherous that i have no comments.stayed up till the wee early in mornings in 2 consecutive days and ended up with a week's sleeping disorder.goodness.but all is well now i suppose..

coming up would be my presentation for biz culture.ahhhhh.i am like very panicky over this now.its like the first time i am losing confidence for my presentation skills.not that it was that good anyway. ):

yups,before i get to some shitty stuff,just to update on what i have been doing for the past.

anita's birthday dinner @ holiday inn

had dinner at this restaurant( i forgot whats the name) with this bunch of people.fun to hang out with though,lotsa entertainment.hehe.dinner was great with a great ambience.after dinner,we headed down to huiying's place for movie, ' I am Sam.'

went for riverfest 2008, its something like a celebration to welcome spring.and yeah,winter is over,spring is here.weather is kinda ok for now,but i think i would need a fan soon.getting kinda humid though.yups,and before riverfest,we went to jindalee's factory outlet.not much stuff,but i managed to get some.amazing.the bus journey back to indoorpilly train station was so long because we took the bus in the wrong direction.for a moment i thought that we would miss the riverfire.

time for the shitty stuff.
one of my housemate's stuff was stolen by dunno who.and it freaks me out.it happened at night,and apparently,that person went by the back door which is even freakier because only we,staying here would know that they dun lock that back door.zzz.and everything happened so quick.they're saying that this person had been observing our house for a long time already...

and another of my housemate got terminated by our landlord over a misunderstanding.that is so.erm,i dunno whats that word to describe.its like not even her fault and he did not even bothered listening to an explanation and just slam the door right on their face.i could even feel how tight the atmosphere was.another zzz.

accounting mid year is on this saturday and i am not prepared.
my friends are goinG to harbour town this saturday and i am gonna miss it.but there is no one to blame but myself.

time for shittier stuff.
this is so gonna be vulgar with lots of fuck here and there..
something happened at home and i am like worried sick over this side.anyway,my family and relatives celebrated my grandma's birthday on sunday and as usual,for her birthday,we would get her a set of clothes.yups,its like a MUST thing already.and so,sunday went and monday came..

i dunno what really happened but if my grandma breaks down and cry and my eldest uncle gotta go up and settle it,i reckon it to be anything good.

i heard from my sister that fucking china woman apparently chased her own daugther,which is my cousin and my grandma out of the house.for my cousin,i pity her.like seriously,for some moments,i even thought of calling the social service when i am in singapore.she gets caned for not topping the class,she gets no rest from studying and she gets pressured by that fucking woman all the time.my sis said that my cousin attempted to jumped off the building when she was chased out and was stopped by my grandma.and before running out,my grandma said to that fucking woman ,'stop caning her,because she is my grandchildren,it would kill her.'she just replied,'its my daughter,its my business.'

SO ITS YOUR FUCKING BUSINESS RIGHT,DEN JUST LET MY GRANDMA COME DOWN AND STAY WITH US.WHY MAKE SO MUCH NOISE?! I CAN IMAGINE WHY ALL YOUR MAIDS LEFT YOU.YOU STUPID FUCKING WOMAN.

and she quarrelled with my grandma over that present my parents got her.i seriously think that she is jealous la.SO MY GRANDMA PREFERS THE CLOTHES THAT WE BOUGHT FOR HER DEN YOU ARE NOT HAPPY?COME ONE MAN,YOU ARE SUCHA KID.CAN'T EVEN BELIEVE THAT YOU ARE A MOTHER OF TWO..

BUT.if you contd to ill treat your daughter,you might become a mother of one soon.
and OH,did i mention that she is so freaking biased towards her SON?ya.SON.zzz.boasting around right?!even your son is like your pattern now.OH,so alike.zzzz.i think you shld just being that proud of everything.if you are rich enough,AFFORD A MAID.(or Ministry of Manpower forbid you from doing that already?)or even,MOVE TO A CONDO!

FLAUNT YOUR WEALTH FOR ALL I CARE.
just fuck off.and i think that my uncle would be better off without her.let her just runaway la.

fucking attention seeker.

*anyone got any idea how i can help my cousin?it pains me to hear that she is suffering when she is like only 12?
what happened to all the happy childhood memories?

drive.

2008-08-27T17:34:00.003+10:00

the mood to chiong has finally descended.
thank god..

i hope it will still be wth me till the end of next month.
(:

gonna ton in school for the first time.hopefully i will be able to finish my review today and let anita vet it for me tomorrow.hope it wouldn't be much of a trouble for her.hehe.thanks for giving me the pointers on how to start!thanks to dily's housemate too.i really felt motivated after talking to him but everything just vanished after i came home.heh.lagging behind for my portfolios,i hope i will be able to get it done soon..and to put all my heart and soul into my first upcoming presentation for biz culture.

i know i can do it,it matters on whether i want to do it not.

cheesy,i hope you're reading!hope that you are feeling better already.(:(:

riverfest on saturday,looking forward to it!

Assignments.

2008-08-25T22:45:00.003+10:00

i know i need to start,but the drive is not there.
been doing the ample amount of reading on my articles,but i have not started writing anything.not even the 150words introduction.so much is going through my head,i know what i want to portray,but i am not able to put it in words.i need a reference.any reference to show me,to guide me how to start,how to end,how to write.it's the first time i am losing confidence when it comes to essay writing.damned.
i know,i need to work doubly hard,cos i am a so average student.talk bout being kiasu.hah.

friends around me are falling sick.having headaches,coughing and having flu.god,please let them be okay!assignment deadlines are all over the place,all of us would need all the strength we've got to finish what we have started and all the strength to start whatever we need to!let me be healthy too!

things are better for us now,or so i think.glad that we had that lil talk talk too.. (:

"where is your self discipline,joyce?"

many thoughts

2008-08-21T23:33:00.003+10:00

i tell myself,its time to end all these emo period.
i tell myself,to keep this within me and never bother anyone.
i tell myself,to be thankful towards those around me.
i tell myself,to buck up for my assignments.
...
i tell myself,my life do not just revolve around a friend.
i tell myself,i will meet more friends.
i tell myself,that one day you will know i am talking about you.
i tell myself,when that day comes,you will be able to understand these actions of mine.
i tell myself,when all these are over,we can still be close friends.
i tell myself,not to get pissed and lose hope.
...
i tell myself,its the normal way life goes.
i tell myself,to cheer up.

i tell myself...

maybe

2008-08-20T00:45:00.000+10:00

i guess we're drifting away?it sounded so good when i heard you went out with another instead of me to get something you really wanted.

perhaps,we've gotten our own group of friends already?or issit a shuffling of what's going on around me?hmmm,seriously.i am clueless.if lets say i am feeling sad,i can say that i am not.just feel a lil wasted.yups.but its all the conclusions that i've drawn.i wish it would not be true though.

and yeah.at the point of time,i miss my jie,ly,lums,yas and my juniors so much till i dunno what i should do..

one of my presentation date has been moved forward by a week.i better get my priorities right and start working hard.just like what louis says,''it's not difficult to score a gpa 5 la.and dun tell yourself you cannot do it..''

2008-08-19T22:13:00.002+10:00

had a lil talk talk with sandy.
feeling much better already.

(:

2008-08-18T22:23:00.002+10:00

yups.just got back from my friends' place.hmmm.thanks for trying to cheer me up.thanks for that OHMYGOD freaking full dinner.esp to that cheesy one.and yeahs.i know that we're all in a foreign place and should be there for one another.so i am so thankful that i got such a friend like you.but seriously,when you dun smile,its scary.LOL.

hmmm,been emo for the past week.i concluded that it was pms,but its too long to be already.i heard something from someone and felt all lonely and left out again.i thought we decided on one place but little did i know that the plans changed and you did not even mention it.well,i should might as well say that i am waiting for you to mention it.maybe i am too sensitive,but ever since the return,its so difficult for me to talk to you!i dunno what else to say..maybe i'm just the same as the other.

so much for the exhilarating experience of studying overseas..

a freaking busy week and month coming up..*seriously hope that i would survive.

29th Aug: Article Review deadline.
6th Sept: Accounting Mid Year Exam
9th Sept: Presentation for Biz Culture
18th Sept: Essay for Biz Culture deadline.
23rd Sept: Presentation for Management
25th Sept: Grant Application for Events and the Arts deadline.
14th Oct: Financial Analysis for Accounting deadline.

2008-08-13T17:31:00.001+10:00

emotions.

i am really losing it.tell me what's wrong,what's right.
):

friends?

2008-08-10T14:00:00.006+10:00

happy birthday, singapore!

emo shite.i'm feeling extra.all the joyce talks.):

2008-08-03T09:40:00.002+10:00

i'm doing fine. (:

BUT.
As The Going Gets Tough,The Tough Gets Going.

i miss sg!

thinking of tyl.out of the blue.

2008-07-14T21:16:00.001+10:00

i'm at ipswich already.
nothing much to blog about though.everything here is fine,i'm still trying to get use to everything,without my noisy family,my friends and much of all the nonsense.not that home sick yet,cos my dad is still here with me(: my room is big and spacious,weather is kinda cold in the morning and night,during the afternoon its cool for me.not much of a worry.
anyway,and thanks to those that rush down to the airport to send me off.thanks for all the gifts and wishes,thanks jeff for the badge but its a pity that i could not bring it over. ): it was an emotional send off though.told myself not to tear,but could'nt help it when my youngest sis and my maid started crying...yes.and lum,so bo sim OK.wanna hug you den your back face me.-.-and ly.LOL.when i am typing this i am like laughing,you said something along this line,''cannot hug,hug le will cry''.(er,dun hug den KISS meh???)hehe.and did i see yang sipei tearing?(or was it me?)
went to some places for sightseeing,but everything is like so different without the normal people.not much of laughters.i miss that.stuff here are way expensive.but their haviannas and surfing brands are freaking cheap(as in compared to singapore).
had my international students orientation today.lil did i imagine that one day,i would be an international students.hmmm,the students from singapore are like with their friends.everyone is like from temasek poly and me,the only engineering student doing business and from ngee ann too.tell me bout it.zzz.
another orientation for the BEL faculty tml.hope i will pull it through...

i realised something too.i am learning how to give my thanks for each and every day now.i guess it must be jeffery's influence.i am learning,slowly..

2008-07-07T01:45:00.004+10:00

Farewell Gathering Part II- 5th July 2008.

had another farewell gathering at my place for my friends,charmaine's friend and some of my other relatives.(:

thanks kinshen,joanna,ahern,yaping,kerman for the present and thanks for dropping by too.its really fun to like hang out with you guys.even though there's this age gap.lols.good luck to you guys too.hopefully,to see you guys soon.

the usual gang came.limelight on weilong cos of his army hair.haha.not bad.looks the same though.sat around to catch up on some stuff with them,to hear bout him and salie talking bout the army life with alston asking them more and more questions.it seems to be interesting though.except for the hair part.but its totally understandable why they should keep their hair freaking short.some guys are vain enough to look at the mirror for a darn long time.if looking at their appearance is their priority,den who is gonna guard our county.good choice,saf!hahahaha.

went to partyworld after that,sang from 12mn till 4am.tiring,but enjoyable and fun.took photos after the singing session and headed to jurong's macs for some bonding session as well as breakfast!ohmy.my hotcakes.heheh.

with this,it concluded my 2 farewell gatherings.

thanks daddy and mommy for sponsoring on the food,drinks,etc.

thanks alma for cooking all those dishes.

thanks friends,relatives for coming,for your presents,for your best wishes.

i feel blessed.((:

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

got home at 8am from gz's and went for a quick shower before catching up on my sleep.

met up with my cousins for dinner at plaza singapura.went to fisherman's whaft.an okay experience for me though.not much difference from fish and co.did some catching up over dinner and went for a lil shopping.and nope,i din shopped.went to secret recipe for cakes and continued with our catching up session.

and i realised that i forgot bout taking photos with them!arghs.

i'm thankful that i have such cousins whereby i'm able to communicate well with,to have fun with..(:

saw sipei sitting at dhoby gaut's station steps with her cine friend.and hearing from her,they hang out almost everyday.this is something i envy.): i miss secondary school! with all the hanging out and slacking sessions.

but i guess,this is life and we've gotta move on.right?

2008-07-04T14:39:00.002+10:00

met up with debbie last night!like finally i got to meet up with her ever since danya's first birthday.thanks for the treat and the ride home.haha.

and yes.nothing changed that much.she's still as skinny as ever. -.-
i realised i did not managed to have a pic with her la.zzz.

leaving on next thursday and i wonder what will change..

2008-07-04T02:35:00.003+10:00

知人知面不知心。
heard some stuff and i realised those nuisance kind of politics at work or i should say even outside work can be so scary,so dark..

good luck to,''you-know-who''.
you'll need it. (:
not to worry too,cos we're all behind you.and remember not to let all these fcuked up shites get into you.
cos,what goes around,comes around.

&lesson learnt: it doesn't pay to be kind.

2008-06-30T00:42:00.002+10:00

farewell gathering- PART ONE.

had my so called farewell gathering with my relatives and my lovely juniors yesterday.was so busy trying to entertain everyone till i lost my voice already.):but i hoped everyone had their fill of food and enjoyed themselves.thanks to my parents for organising this for me,thanks to my maid for making the effort to cook,thanks to my relatives and juniors for coming,thanks to my siblings for being so well behaved.

had a REAL surprise yesterday night though.thanks to my 6 cousins and 1 of their boyfriend who had contributed to the presents!!haha.they got me an aldo bag(YES,my fav) and an agnes b bangle.the surprising part would be,no one in my whole life bought me any accessories cos my wrists are too big,fingers are too fat,so on and so forth..i got a baby g watch too.also from my cousins!haha.i love it!i love presents,but.receiving it as farewell gifts makes me feel a lil weird,a lil sad..yups.and.not to forget,my juniors.haha,thanks guys for the card.it made me feel 'warmed'.LOL.

went to chill with my juniors after the gathering at my place.had fun taking pictures and laughing at the top of our voices.

returned home feeling sore at my throat and feeling all restless.

for pictures,go to www.lovestiramisu.multiply.com
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
met up with jie for the play at esplanade this afternoon.went to watch 'b-boyz and ballerina'.its cool,and i enjoyed it thoroughly.their moves are really sleek and way better den those i watch on wo ai hei she hui.not that theirs not COOL enough.but.still..went window shopping at marina square before dinnertime at the singapore flyer.did not get onto the flyer cos it was about to rain too.went for dessert back at marina square.more walking on heels.i think my feet hurts.bet jie's feet hurt badly too.her heels are way way higher den mine!

for pictures,go to www.lovestiramisu.multiply.com

that's all for now.and i tell myself.its time to start packing already.
busybusy week coming up.

2008-06-27T22:06:00.003+10:00

met up with the 2lovely ladies yesterday night.haha.they were too shy to come for the gathering on the 5th!lols.went to xin wang hk cafe at cineleisure for dinner and they shared their photographs that were taken in shanghai.their recent study trip.all of the photos made me think back of the time when we went hk and china too!GOSH.how much i miss it..
----------------------------------------------------------------------------

busybusy day!
went to woodlands early in the morning to ah ma's hse to get some stuff and i saw sipei!for 2consecutive days!it would be the 3rd if she comes tml!(:after getting home,had a short rest and went to my workplace to collect my pay.thanks annie and meiluan for the amos cookies!YUMMYS.and of course,thanks justine for the tiramisu treat from pastamania and the GLASS cup.LOL.
rushed home to experiment on making tiramisu!haha.i think its successful to a certain extent.but its still kind of soft.gotta wait for tml den.hope that the mascarpone cheese hardens!den it would be perfect!
hehe.

& jie's birthday is today!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY,JIE!
see you on sunday!i got so much to update you!!

tml would be my first farewell gathering with my relatives and supposedly some close friends.but.sighs...
i know i know,i'm childish,i cannot empathise.

into this song now.its not bad.

郭靜-知道
詞／曲：韋禮安

她讓你憔悴許多她讓你不知所措她一舉一動你不停的對我說
我微笑傾聽你說我卻越聽越心痛怎麼你說的不是我

她比我多了什麼讓你願意耐心等候

我想知道她讓你痴心是什麼
我想知道她讓你瘋狂為什麼
我知道做的和她沒有不同
但是我卻不在你心中逗留

我想知道她哪裡比我好很多在你心中她和我有什麼不同
我知道我比她付出的還多
可是我總換不了你的心動

你讓我憔悴很多你讓我不知所措你一舉一動我的心被牽著走
她不經意的走過你就把我給冷落嫉妒把我給吞沒
她比我多了什麼讓你願意耐心等候

我想知道她讓你痴心是什麼
我想知道她讓你瘋狂為什麼
我知道做的和她沒有不同
但是我卻不在你的心中逗留

我想知道她哪裡比我好很多在你心中她和我有什麼不同
我知道我比她付出的還多
可是我總換不了你的心動

我知道了她哪裡比我好更多在你心中我永遠不可能會讓你心動
我知道我比她付出的還多可是我在你心中沒有她多

2008-06-26T01:41:00.002+10:00

亲爱的，那不是爱情

教室里那台风琴
叮咚叮咚叮嚀
像你告白的声音
动作一直很轻
微笑看你送完信
转身离开的背影
喜欢你字跡清秀的关心

那温热的牛奶瓶在我手中握紧
有你在的地方我总感觉很窝心
日子像旋转木马
在脑海里转不停
出现那些你对我好的场景

你说过牵了手就算约定
但亲爱的那并不是爱情
就像来不及许愿的流星
再怎麼美丽也只能是曾经

太美的承诺因為太年轻
但亲爱的那并不是爱情
就像是精灵住错了森林
那爱情错的很透明

那温热的牛奶瓶在我手中握紧
有你在的地方我总感觉很窝心
日子像旋转木马
在脑海里转不停
出现那些你对我好的场景

你说过牵了手就算约定
但亲爱的那并不是爱情
就像来不及许愿的流星
再怎麼美丽也只能是曾经

太美的承诺因為太年轻
但亲爱的那并不是爱情
就像是精灵住错了森林
那爱情错的很透明

太美的承诺因為太年轻
但亲爱的那并不是爱情
就像是精灵住错了森林
那爱情错的很透明.

kinda into this song now.haha,and my sis is like saying that i'm so slow.when everyone is over this song already and i'm into it.zzz.i like oldies cannot ah?!

last day at work today.ended with a happy mood.2months from when i started,i learnt alot,i made friends,i gossiped,i laughed,i enjoyed.(: i guess i would miss it.but not as much as i miss the times at deli.

met ly for dinner just now.thanks for the sweet goodies.i'm quite alright now, i hope.it's not the first time anyway.its kinda stupid when i get all affected by someone that is not quite THE ONE for me.and especially when i know i mean nothing to him.something happened last night and it's quite silly of me to tear all over one sentence of not being able to come to my gathering on the 5th of july and to take care while in aussie.and of course,he's sorry.well,i think its really time for me to NOT get so affected by you.cos,for now.i strongly believe that something went wrong with my eyes and heart to fall hard enough for you.zzz.duh,i'm always saying 'i'm all over him' to yasmin and ly,but every incident proves that i'm NOT.damn.what's wrong with me..

what's up with the complications when it comes to matters of the heart?

&lums.i dunno whether you will be reading this.but still.i'll try to sqeeze out time for the sleepover alrights?no promises.but i'll try.really hard.ps eh.

2008-06-14T16:44:00.003+10:00

went to peach garden for lunch today with daddy,mommy,brother and ah ma!
yups.no bad eh.
but,the roasted pork is like freakingly expensive.
12puny pieces for the price of SGD10dollars.
i mean,i know,its peach garden.but,isn't it a little too STEEP???

meeting ly later at amk hub,to go and find xinwei at his workplace.and he says he dun wanna treat us to dinner.zzz.funny eh,cos i dun remember asking him to treat.okays,i'm blabbering bout nothing already.

oh,and photos for xinwei's and wanchieh's birthday are already uploaded into my multiply site already.
www.lovestiramisu.multiply.com

26days to go.

2008-06-13T22:40:00.002+10:00

went out with my family to the line for lunch today!
yummy.

went shopping with them just now too!
continued to get more necessities for aussie.
daddy got himself a N82;
mummy got herself a pretty evening dress;
and WE gotten oursleves newurbanmale flipflops!!!

got a tagboard up and running,to keep up with those in singapore when i'm at aussie.
hope it comes to good use.

2008-06-13T00:45:00.003+10:00

random thoughts.

there's alot i wanna say.there's alot of uncertainties.there's alot of questions..

at this moment,after reading a blog,i'm kinda envy of those with lots of friends,those that blog about sisterhood,BFF..i wonder why this doesn't happen to me in anyway or another.i feel kinda left out,like an extra in this universe and stuff.

whatever it is.i'm gonna stay the way i am now.friends coming to me when they realised that there's still me to talk to and when they have others,i would be left aside.sadly,to rot..

yups.
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met up with some of the guys yesterday to celebrate xinwei's and wanchieh's birthday.the gathering also served as a gathering before some of the guys go into ns.

HAPPY 20th, XINWEI!

hopefully,SOME of them would be like more mature after coming out from the 2weeks confinement in tekong,to realise how much some others meant to them.zzz.BOYS.

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was watching a chinese drama serial on channel 8 today evening and this thing hit my mind when the actress went saying...

'when it comes to saying how big is singapore,its not that big actually,and its also not that small.but,when it comes to you're looking for a SOMEBODY,it might actually amount up to some difficulty.

and.it gets even harder when..that somebody is hiding himself/herself from you."

god.how come i have this feeling it happened to me?
3years and counting on...

2008-06-10T23:58:00.000+10:00

i'm feeling emo.

zzz.

2008-06-01T02:14:00.005+10:00